See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
