i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
