dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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