You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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