Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
