Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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