Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize