I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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