someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize