Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
COCAINE IS GR8
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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