I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
