um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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