im gay
i know
yea but for you.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
