Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
where are my eyebrows?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
