I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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