It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i came on her dog
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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