Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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