Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize