The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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