were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
