i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
