so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ttyl tear gas
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
