is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
