Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
