I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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