you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
