god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
