I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
