Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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