I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize