Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
