can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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