my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
this hospital has no fireball
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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