I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
