i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
