Don't you send me to vm
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
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Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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