I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my poor anus
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
this is an emotional support booty call
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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