Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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