um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
