well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize