Your mouth is God's brothel.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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