stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
