glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
