I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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