I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
