Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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