Please, let me fuck your mom
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
