I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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