i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize
