wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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