The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
false alarm, still single
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
