I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
