It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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