I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize