I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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