You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize