he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
