I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
