hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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