dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you would pick up someone in the library
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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